Squidgyboo » Rant

3D you

Lindy — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 09:42:20 +0000

I was reading the DailyMail this afternoon when I stumbled upon this gem of an article. I was filled with horror at the thought of standing in a machine that would give me a 3D image of my body. I don’t know many woman who would relish this experience. I mentioned this to Wal and he couldn’t understand what the problem was. I tried to explain to him that women, I’m going out on a limb here and assume I’m not the only one that does this, are experts at self denial. I can look at myself in the mirror and convince myself I don’t look thaaaaaat fat. These jeans do not make my ass look big. This empire wasted top does not make me look pregnant and so on. How can I continue to lie to myself when I’m confronted with this?

Now if I looked like the model I’d stare at this green dotted representation of myself all the time. In reality my boobies are saggy, my belly is neither smooth nor is it flat and my ass is fat and lumpy and saggy. It looks more like this.

Do women find the prospect of trying on jeans such a chore that they would rather go through the experience of a 3D image of themselves? I personally am happy to continue to lie to myself that I look like Cindy Crawford (circa 1992) than be confronted with the horror of my reality. I’ll continue to try on jeans the old fashioned way and run the risk of coming home with a pair that don’t fit me perfectly. After all I do have an imperfect body so why would I expect a pair of jeans to fit me perfectly? Come on I can’t be the only one? Can I? The article says that these machines are already out there. Have you tried this machine out at Selfridges?

Reason 2,340,857,098,340,808,085.5

Lindy — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 21:48:35 +0000

Why I hate living here. So this evening I’m minding my own business. Where minding my own business means looking out the window to see if a$$holes are about to move my trash bins in order to block my driveway. At around 7:50 I hear the sound of my bin being wheeled away. I look out the window to check, rush out the front door and confront the three a$$holes who are stealing my bin. While I’m chatting to one of them. Where chatting means me yelling at him to put my fecking bin back! The other a$$hole with his grubby paws on my bin is legging it down the street. I’m telling the other asshole that I want my bin back or I’ll call the cops. He just laughs at me and tell me he doesn’t thinkt he cops will come for something like a wheely bin! Ok this is where you guys can imagine me about to lose my shit. Except that I’m home alone w/ a sleeping child upstairs. One of the two that are still on my driveway starts to walk towards me and my wide open front door. So I hightail it back into the house and lock it. Because I may be stupid but I’m not stupid! So I call Wal who is working late to tell him what happened. I think they’ve stolen something and are using my bin to move it. Or maybe it’s a dead body they had in there. I say this because yesterday was trash day and the bin is empty. The FRUCKER that took off with my bin was pushing it like it weighed a ton. So using my amazing skills of deduction I’m thinking they have a dead body in my bin!!

I’m pissed off. I’m beyond angry. I’m soooo very very very tired of people. I want to move out of this supposedly popular, trendy, safe, blah blah frecking blah neighborhood! I want to be safe. I want to not worry about people stealing my milk. Yes folks it’s still happening and milk delivery has been canceled. I want to not have to watch my front driveway because people are so inconsiderate that they will move the bins I’m forced to place at the bottom of my drive so that people will not block my driveway.

When things like this happen I just want to pack up my daughter and fly back to MA. I want to tell Wal that I’m serious about wanting to move. I want to know how many more ways I need to show him I want to move. What more do I need to say for him to get that I want to move. Do I have to ACTUALLY move back to MA before he gets it?!??!! Ultimatums don’t work but shit! Freck! Frack!!!! I want out of this fricking FRACKING HOUSE!!!

Grrr

Lindy — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 17:26:27 +0000

An update on the driveway sage. I have been putting the trash bin at the end of the driveway– with a bit of it on the road. I started doing this after someone parked their car blocking us out on Friday. They didn’t move the car until I called the police on Saturday night. The police had to call them and ask them to move it. No ticket just a friendly call. GRRRR!! The bin stops people from just willy nilly parking and blocking me in/out. It has worked really well. It’s a bit of a pain having to move the bin into place and out of the way but the alternative is aneurysm inducing.

The only people that have tried to move the bin have been women. It pains me to say this as I consider myself a femanist but what the hell is is about young attractive women?? You know the type that bee-bops down the road thinking they poop ice cream. I have caught these women trying to move the bin. HELLOOOOO!! WTF do you think you’re doing?? Don’t you LOOOOK??? Can’t you SEEEEEEEE that the bin is in front of a drive way??? Does it ever register in that vacant head of yours to wonder what a bin is doing there?? Perhaps glance around at your surroundings and realize it’s a DRIVEWAY!!! GRRRRR!!!

OK, rant over.

Annie git yur gun

Lindy — Tue, 27 May 2008 14:54:41 +0000

Just a quick rant about terrorists making life difficult for the rest of us. I’m trying to transfer money to my BFF so that she can pay our Cape Cod beach rental. Yes I KNOW that I should have done this a while ago but procrastination you is mah friend. So anyhoo Wendy needs to pay it by June. No probs I’ll just set up a paypal account for Wal and bingo done. Eeerm nope wait one darn second it couldn’t be that easy. It appears that Wal’s bank makes you jump through hoops before they’ll let you transfer money. You might be a terrorist after all. So you’re probably thinking just go to the bank and w/d the money, deposit the money into your account and then you can use your own paypal account. Yes on paper tinternetz paper that sounds great except that Wal is in Italy all this week. So I’m going to have to wait until he gets back. Not the end of the world but still really inconvenient. He can’t even transfer the money on-line to me because I’m not set up as a valid/authorized direct debit!! Yep thats right people if you want to transfer money and you use B Bank then you have to set up the person as a direct debit AND they make you wait a couple of days before you can confirm the person. You know just in case the terrorist changes his mind in the ‘cooling off’ period and decides not to transfer money.

Also people my diet is in serious jeopardy! OOOH MEIN GOTT!! I had bookmarked this blog, Fresh from the Oven, a while ago but hadn’t really spent any time drooling reading it. You have to check it out– ooh mah gawd this woman can cook-if her photos are anything to go by.

It was a bank holiday on Monday.

I broke out the bubble gun this weekend. Squidge was only mildly interested. I on the other hand had a blast playing with it.

It was very windy and I was trying to get a photo of a bubble. A nice clear image of a bubble. Unfortunately most of my photos looked like this.

Then I got this

I’m loving this photo– a perfect bubble w/ great bokeh. It has been very very windy and I should have waited but still innit purdy?

On Saturday we went to see some friends of Wal’s. One of my most favorite people was there– HI BIFF!! Squidge had a great time and the kids where great playing with her. For some odd reason I didn’t pull out my camera so no photos. I think it was the fact that I was freezing my butt off. It was sooo cold I could barely move! Gots ta love the weather here.

Virgin Active

Lindy — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 15:13:03 +0000

I despise Virgin Active. I despise all things Corporate and the evil soulless people that work for them. I hope they are happy in this life because Karma will catch up with them. I wonder, when life goes to shit for them will they remember all the people they lied to and cheated? Will they connect the dots?

I need to remember what is important to me. I need to not get soo angry with people and things that do not matter. They are NOT worth my energy and my time. I will not waste any more of both on them. I will focus on Squidge and her smile. I’ll remember that Wal loves me and I him. I will relish the times Squidge runs to me for a cuddle. I hold on to Wal and remember our time together sharing a bottle on wine. These are the things that matter.

Playing around with Flickr.