This Christmas I thought of them alone in their house and us here in ours. I thought of my Christmasses growing up surrounded by family and tried not to be sad that Squidge would never experience that. I also thought that I needed to stop holding a grudge, be the bigger person and invite them over. So what if it was a little uncomfortable for me. They’d come have Christmas dinner and leave. I would fullfil my moral obligation and a little melting of hearts might occur. The invite went out and was accepted.

On Christmas morning we woke up, opened our presents, went to church and then started cooking dinner. I was a little nervous but kept thinking it was all going to be good.  I don’t think I could have in my wildest expectations guessed how good it would have been.

Wal’s parents arrived and acted like they had not just spent the last 6 years pretending i didn’t exist. She was friendly and chatty and you could have knocked me over with a feather!  Dinner was pleasant. Pudding was served in the livingroom while watching the Queen’s speech.  Copious amounts of tea was served. More pudding was eaten along with more tea. It was ages before they left and they invited themselves back.

A flipping Christmas miracle. I still hate them for treating me so badly but as the only family I have here I’m glad I didn’t let the hatred and anger consume me. I just think of them as sad old people who missed seeing their only grandchild grow into the fabulous little girl she is. I’m hoping for more family dinners and the growing of a relationship between us all.

Hope Christmas was all that you hoped for and much much more.

I must keep telling myself that this is not a race. That I want to be thin more than I want that cupcake with the frosting piled a mile high. Christmas is killing me. I have learned that if it’s not in the house I’m good so I just don’t buy it. Squidge has been given chocolate on an almost daily basis. Yesterday it was a pack of chocolate starts and a mini caramelo. I resisted the stars but sadly that caramelo didn’t stand a chance!! STOP GIVING MY CHILD CHOCOLATE!!

Do you know what the scary bit is? I probably resist 90% of the time. This time last year? If I wanted it I wouldn’t even think about it. 22 lbs later and I’ve worked too damn hard to undo all of it. It doesn’t make it easy though and I’m an angry fat chick to prove it. How do you folks deal with the temptation? Can you buy it and not eat it? What are some tips for resisting during the holiday season?

Squidge singing with Choir she belongs to.

After we chose our tree and put it in the car we headed back to have a nice nosey around all the fantastic things there are to do. We had our usual back of hot dinky donuts, hot chocolate/tea and this year a special treat for Squidge…

A chance to hold some owls. Owls are my all time favorite so I was so excited they had this.  The bird girl (who was as personable as a wet rag) placed the owl on Squidge’s arm and she was too excited!!

This year we bought a new tree stand and WOW what a difference it has made. It’s the best tree stand ever!  We also made sure to cut of bit of the tree. Last year our tree was almost bald by Boxing Day.

I love how Wal has placed newspaper down… like our bare wood floor is too precious and needs protecting!

Yesterday was Thanksgiving and I wanted Squidge to know that it’s a special day. Thanksgiving is my all time favorite holiday and I want to pass on that love to Squidge. I remember my mom saying years and years ago it was her favorite holiday. Back then I was like are you crazy woman? Better than Christmas?? Woman is on crack! Now I’m just like her. Oooh how I wished growing up that I wouldn’t turn into my mother and here I am just.like.her. (and happy I am about that too!)

I chatted to Squidge about the meaning of Thanksgiving and how we should spend some time thinking about what we are thankful for. She’s thankful for her friends. that is all.  I am thankful for many many things. I’m thankful for my wonderful family who have stopped giving me a hard time when I don’t call them often enough. I’m thankful for Wal and his love and friendship. I’m thankful for the friends I have. I’m thankful (mostly) for my fixer upper of a house.

Because it was Thanksgiving I thought I would bake some Thanksgiving inspired cookies and send them off to school. The plan was for Squidge to talk a little bit about thanksgiving but I think the rush to eat the cookies was great and well no thanks were given beforehand although there were lots of thanks afterwards.

Pumpkin Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

Equipment
baking sheets
2 mixing bowls

Ingredients
110 grams plain flour
120 grams rolled oats
1 tsp baking soda
3/4 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

375 grams sugar
158 mililiters canola oil
2 tbs black treacle
212 grams (1 cup) canned pumpkin, or cooked pureed pumpkin
1 tsp vanilla
100 grams raisins
optional:
212 grams (1 cup) walnuts, finely chopped

Directions
Preheat oven to 180. Have ready 2 greased baking sheets.

Mix together flour, oats, baking soda, salt and spices.

In a seperate bowl, mix together sugar, oil, molasses, pumpkin and vanilla until very well combined. Add dry ingredients to wet in 3 batches, folding to combine. Fold in raisins.

Drop by tablespoons onto greased cookie sheets. They don’t spread very much so they can be placed only an inch apart. Flatten the tops of the cookies with a fork or with your fingers, to press into cookie shape. Bake for 16 minutes at 180. If you are using two sheets of cookies on 2 levels of your oven, rotate the sheets halfway through for even baking. You’ll have enough batter for 4 trays.

Remove from oven and get cookies onto a wire rack to cool. These taste best when they’ve had some time to cool and set. They taste even better the next day!

These cookies are 6 pro points each.