Weight Watcher’s Wednesday

Week 20. Weight lost this week: +3 Weight loss in total 17.5

Soooooo this was a bit of a bum­mer.  I knew I had a bad week and was expect­ing a gain just not a whop­ping THREE pounds of gain.  I was totally com­pletely bummed out at the meet­ing.  I had to keep remind­ing myself that I did it to myself and to shake it off. In real­ity I was devis­tated and although I knew I was eat­ing choco­late (thank you Hal­loween candy and no willpower) and not eat­ing healthy meals (good­bye burned Le Creuset pan HELLOOOOO chi­nese take­away!) you still, or at least I still have the abil­ity to delude myself.  So it’s back to real­ity, back to being strict with myself and back to the gym.

I think one of the most dif­fi­cult things about gain­ing 3 lbs for me was the thought that I have wasted 3 weeks. That I’m not back to where I was three weeks and all those days of doing well are just gone.  I mean really I know that this is such a first world white girl issue but this is my blog and my issue and I’m going to moan about it.  When I first walked though the doors of the meet­ing I was almost at my heav­i­est. I was tired of delud­ing myself that I wasn’t that fat and most impor­tantly that I was eat­ing healthy so there must be a phys­i­cal prob­lem.  Tak­ing the step to start attend­ing a slim­ming group is admit­ting to myself that I was over­weight– grossly so and that I needed to make some changed and I couldn’t do it on my own.

I don’t want to be faffing about with it. I want to reach my goal in the year I set myself and that is not going to hap­pen if I don’t stick with the pro­gram.  So although those damn Mars bars are still call­ing me from Squidge’s Hal­loween bag I am stick­ing w/ the points. It’s not to say I haven’t had a Mars bar but the good thing about Weight Watcher’s is that you can have a Mars bar if you plan for it, so I have.

Here is a pic­ture of me at my heav­i­est– when Squidge was 6 months old.  I cringe when I look at it but I know I’ll never be that per­son again.

this is a bad pic­ture of me taken a cou­ple of weeks ago. So not slim but not as big as I was almost 5 yrs ago.