I’m just going to have a bit of a mash up post. I have lots of things to say but can’t get the words out so verbal vomit it is.
Well I’m alone again this week. Wal has gone off to Turkey for the week. I know I’ve said it before but I don’t know how single parents do it. Or maybe if I were a single parent I would have more of a set schedule and it would be easier. I think the most difficult thing is that I have so many things for him to do when he goes get home. We spend most of the time trying to figure out how/when to get things done. Sometime we get irritated with each other and then he’s off again. No time to just hang out as a couple– this is a bad thing. All couples need time to just be with each other without expectations. Still, this too shall pass but it kind of sucks at the moment.
I sent Squidge off to school every morning w/ a kiss and a message. Learn lots and be kind. To which she rolls her eyes at me and tells me she knooooooows and she iiiiiiiiiiiiiis. Still I say it to her every day. Be Kind. What does that mean to you? I am a little conflicted at the moment as I feel like being kind is translating into be ridden rough shod and never getting your way. Am I teaching my daughter to be meek and to always give in? When she has friends over I always tell her that they’re guests and that they should play what they want first. Does this happen when she’s the guest? Or does she run and cry because they don’t want to do what she wants to do. A understandable reaction as she’s the guest and according to what I’ve taught her they should play what she (the guest) wants first. I’m not saying that the other kids are wrong. It’s just that what you teach your kids isn’t necessarily that others teach their own kids. So how do you reconcile this difference? How do you teach them to be kind without it meaning that they’re going to be taken advantage of? How do you get your kids to act when they have company? I try not to interfere w/ the playing but when there is conflict or tears then I will intervene. I try to listen to both sides and will try to come to a fair result. I do try to get Squidge to play what the guest wants though! Should I keep doing this?
Sexualization of children. Squidge attends an after school dance club. She learns ballet and modern dance. I have had reservations about this club for a while. My initial issues with them was the snacks they give the kids– chocolate and chocolate cookies being a staple! Color me silly but I would think a dance organization would want to give them fruit and healthy food. Still I brushed that aside because she only goes once a week.
My second and now more pressing issue with the club is the sexual nature of a lot of the content they’re teaching the kids. During the Christmas show the older kids were shaking their money maker as if they really were trying to make some money. I didn’t feel comfortable with this but the kids were a lot older so I just let it slide. This past Friday Squidge was in another show and I was a little shocked. All the kids were gyrating and rubbing their hands up and down their bodies, turning their bums to the audience and humping the air. Shaking their chests. I think what I found most disturbing was the audience members whooping when the kids did those moves. HELLO THEY’RE UNDER 8 AND YOU ARE NOT A STRIP CLUB!! The songs some of the kids were dancing to was sooooo inappropriate! Guns, Ass, and I think I heard a bitch here and there. Anyway I didn’t like it. It’s not the message I want to send my daughter. I think it’s a shame because the people that run it are really nice. It joins the school community together to the wider village community. I just wish someone would have a word w/ them. As it is I’m not going to sign Squidge up for next year. I’ll use the excuse that she will be starting Rainbows so that she doesn’t get upset. I don’t think she is going to miss it too much, she does ballet and tap at a traditional dance school. I think she has enough activities– ballet/tap, swimming and Rainbows. She also takes skiing and tennis lessons, although she’s not taking lessons at the moment. I will be signing her up for music lessons soon. A full plate I think.
So I need to know folks– thoughts? Opinions? Advice?